2013, you wonderful thing of beauty, you.

I must be the only person in the world who wants to curl up in a self-made fort and spend New Year's Eve in solitude and safe comfort.  It's not that I don't want 2014 to come, it's just that 2013 has been one of the biggest years in my life and I don't know what to expect now. I am both overwhelmed by things still to come (in goals personal and professional), and thinking that the new year could only underwhelm after the accomplishments of 2013.  So, my gut reaction is to be silent and look inward for answers, maybe look outward in honest prayer.

2013 was the year I released "World Go Blue," got radio play and press coverage nationally, toured the U.S. and the Philippines, learned how to be a better performer, got a manager, heard my song on E!, got a piano endorsement from Kawai, made 2 music videos, traveled every month except two (May and July), and started hosting a songwriter's round; I saw my best friend lose her mom, get engaged, get married twice (with me as her maid of honor both times), and have a baby; 2013 was the year my dad reached out for the first time in almost 10 years, the year I got closer to my only direct aunt/uncle/cousins in the U.S.; the year I learned how to savor the simple things with Rob; the year I made stronger friendships in L.A.; the year I collaborated; the year on which I could look back and say, "OK. Leaving the place where I grew up was a good decision."

Thanks 2013.  And 2014, I hope you understand why I'm a little hesitant to find out what you have in store.
But perhaps now I should just be proud of what happened and be inspired by the potential of things to come.  Life is still writing itself, after all...

Behind the "Cup of Coffee" Music Video

This was an amazing and incredibly busy day in April. It took us a long time to get the video out because I'd been hoping that I'd be able to get a video for "War!" out first. Alas, I underestimated how busy 2013 would be, but I'm happy that I was able to release this before year's end.

"Cup of Coffee" (the video) is a project spearheaded by Eliot Aether, who approached me earlier this year saying he felt a connection to the song and wanted to do it justice by putting a video together. Eliot has worked with some great talent in the past, and I knew I'd be in good hands.  He singlehandedly gathered a team of camera operators, a Director or Photography (Sergio Arguello, guy with a great eye and amazing resume), a makeup/hair person (Tammie Lee), as well as an post-production team that worked for months to get the final video together.  We shot in the beautiful piano studio of David Andersen (davidandersenpianos.com), a room full of Steinways that just about took my breath away. Also to thank - for her warmth, openness, and sweaters (it was cold that day) is the sculptor Tanya Ragir (tanyaragir.com), who lives with David and agreed to let us take over their backyard for an afternoon.  You can't see it in the video, but her sculptures are placed around the backyard, and they're perfectly inspired.  Justin Juarez is the handsome guy who agreed last-minute to be part of the shoot. I think we pulled off our romance fairly convincingly - apartment arguments and awkward beach strolls included.  My favorite part of shooting with Justin was making up something to be mad at him about (kind of hard, since he's such a nice dude).  I think I recall making up a bit about how I had caught him talking to some girl at a bar, some blonde girl with big boobs. To which he retorted, "I don't even like big boobs!"  That got us laughing for a little while.

Anyway, here's the video if you haven't seen it!  Thank you to the amazing team who put it all together!

Official music video for "Cup of Coffee" // DOWNLOAD the track at [http://alfamusic.bandcamp.com] // Heard on E!'s "Keeping Up with the Kardashians"

Presented by Antidote30/Playa Design
Executive Producer: James Elliot Green | Producer: Jared Green
Director: Eliot Aether | Director of Photography: Sergio Arguello
Camera Operator: Abdul Malik Abbott
Editor: Katrin Leo Pako | Colorist: Jake Blackstone
VFX: Jason Fordham | Makeup & Hair: Tammie Lee
Actor: Justin Juarez | Special thanks: Tanya Ragir (tanyaragir.com) & David Andersen (davidandersenpianos.com), Phil Roc, Katz Carter, Paul Condon, Rob Bieselin.

About the track:
"Cup of Coffee" is from the album "World Go Blue", released 29 January 2013
Nick Adams (drums), Alfa Garcia (lead vocals, piano, guitar), Marc Lacuesta (BGV's), Paul Wight (electric guitar), Steve Wight (bass)
Written by Alfa Garcia. Published by Gas Can Music, Orange County, CA.
Recorded and mixed by Paul Wight. Monrovia, CA. Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music. New Windsor, NY.

LYRICS: http://alfamusic.bandcamp.com/track/c...
www.alfa-music.com

Mid-December; digging out thermals.

The cold is a daily fixture now, creeping in despite the sun; making things still and forcing the hurried mind to slow. I am grateful that "cold" in LA is in the 40's-50's. See, I'm headed for Chicago this weekend, where it's more like 18 degrees. Brrr.  I'll have to dig out the thermals.

But despite that, I am happy to be able to go back and headline for Mt. Prospect's fundraiser event to benefit victims of Typhoon Haiyan and the recent Illinois tornadoes.  I got a call a few weeks ago from an acquaintance I'd made out there, who owns the beautiful E+O restaurant out in the suburb.  I don't know what made him think of me, but I'm grateful.  Chicago will become my most-visited city in 2013.  I think this will be my 4th trip out there this year.

Speaking of benefits, my songwriter friend Andrew Abaria and I put together a fundraiser concert this weekend at his gorgeous home in Silver Lake. We raised $900 for Direct Relief's efforts in the Philippines and got 4 boxes worth of clothing to donate to my family's church in Bohol, which is distributing goods to the earthquake victims.  I couldn't help but think about how lucky we are, as I folded well-made polo shirts, designer jeans and intricately woven blouses into Atlas shipping boxes. How lucky we can give this stuff away.  How insane there are people in this world who don't even have a reliable set of clothing to wear every day.

Austin, Rob and me putting together the last of the clothing donations.

Meanwhile, I'm getting together the December songwriter's Round at The Renaissance on Friday, which I'll be playing along with some other new LA songwriters I've met.  And then debuting the "Cup of Coffee" music video tomorrow.  I am really excited for this one.  I was a little unsure at first - thought the whole ordeal was too made up for me - but now...now I think it's just right.  For as much as it's about sticking to your guns, being an artist is also about trying out new experiences. And that's definitely how I see the whole experience of shooting this music video. 

Oh, by the way. I almost forgot. I was featured in Candy Magazine in this month's issue!  Kind of awesome.  The shot is below.  I've never seen Friday Night Lights, but it sounds like a neat comparison... 

You have been reckless with my heart, but I am the one to pay.

In August I wrote a song called "Reckless," and have performed it live only once. I decided to release the video of the performance because I haven't played it since then, and because it was filmed by Jeb Milne, the late owner of WitzEnd (the venue you see in the video) who booked me there and also booked me for my first-ever residency, which will begin in January.  He passed away shortly after he gave me that residency, and I am so thankful to him for giving me the opportunity after booking me only once in his venue.  In the short time I knew him, he believed in me and my music, and showed so much support and positivity.  I only met him once, but I knew there were few like him.  This video is dedicated to him.

"Reckless" (Written and performed by Alfa Garcia. © Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.)
you don't even know me
you're not even sorry
for making me fall down
the long winding stairs
i got all my problems
you don't seem to have one
but that doesn't mean that you should think of ways to collapse walls around you in your haste
now all I do is dream of you all day

CHORUS
I'll be the first to say
it shouldn't go down this way
you have been reckless with my heart
but i am the one to pay
you'll move on quietly
like it was so easy
meanwhile I'll be waiting... foolishly
believing ... you're the one for me.

well what do we do now?
you're perfectly happy
but honestly me, I've been losing my sleep
i think of your brown eyes
that cleverly disguise
a man who's too familiar with goodbyes (d)

CHORUS
I'll be the first to say
it shouldn't go down this way
you have been reckless with my heart
but i am the one to pay
you'll move on quietly
like it was so easy
meanwhile I'll be waiting... foolishly
believing ... you're the one for me. (A)

BRIDGE:
call it a casualty of war
like love is a battle you fight
i surrender all that you want
I wave my white flag high.

CHORUS:
I'll be the first to say
it shouldn't go down this way
you have been reckless with my heart
but i am the one to pay
...
I'll be the first to say
it shouldn't go down this way
you have been reckless with my heart
but i am the one to pay
you'll move on quietly
like it was so easy (higher)
meanwhile I'll be waiting... foolishly
believing ... you're the one for me.
believing ... you're the one for me.
believing you're the one for me.

***

For your restless but loving heart.

Sorry that it has been a few weeks. I promised I would stay on this thing, but I underestimated how busy my Fall would be with NACA Showcases, gigs, and my teaching.  For the first time since August, I will have 3 weeks of no-traveling, so inside I'm celebrating a little bit.  I'm also fighting the urge to make myself busier, which, I'm sad to say, is something I'm very good at.

Let's see. Had some cool things happen since the last post.  Became a Kawai artist (expect more piano songs from me!). Played UC Riverside, and got a neat review. Flew to North Carolina for a one-night stint at Wake Forest. Got a really sweet thank you note from their Student Union yesterday (below).  Played a fun band show at Room 5 in LA with upright bass and a small kit.

This month is reserved for me to prepare for my 2014 Witzend residency in Venice. I'm a bit nervous. I had hoped that I'd have more new songs written by now, but alas... sometimes I wish I had a clone. Although, that wouldn't guarantee quality work on both our parts so maybe not.

I'm getting together with a cellist next week to try out stuff.

In the meantime, I'm racking my brain trying to get nice, melodious words to come out of me and become good songs. But my soul is not wanting to be forced right now.

I should also confess, that I've had on repeat an album I discovered from a friend I made in Nashville.  This is one song I think is kind of genius, and it tickles my heart in just the right way. I leave it to you now, for your restless but loving heart:

foggy Los Angeles morning.

Reclaim.

I sat on the bed beside your newly-showered body
wrapped in a damp towel
         eyes demanding; waiting.
You just want to know where my soul has drifted.
I enumerated all the ways I lost
myself to you - in years of unspoken
obligation; in the task at hand;
         the mission lovers are given,
until tears came down like rain
effortless in the presence of weighty clouds.
         you ask why.
I am mourning the loss
of who I am
when I am alone
a self unfettered by the sacrifice of loving
          another.

Buffalo and back.

A few things happened since my last post. I spent the weekend in Buffalo to showcase at the Mid-Atlantic NACA Convention.  Playing those conferences are always a mix of fun and stress. The best part is getting to hang out with students - for this particular conference, I gave away personalized kazoos and they helped to break the ice - while the hardest part is the showcase itself. I'm always over-thinking everything, from what songs I should play to what outfit I should wear. And when it's all done, I'm considering what I could have done better.  It's particularly more challenging this year because I have gotten into a few showcases (yay!), so there's extra pressure to do well. So far it's two down - one in Chattanooga in September and the other in Buffalo - and one more in Hartford next week. Wish me luck.

Last night I saw Laura Marling play in KTown and pretty much had my heart completely wrecked. She's so stunningly amazing. I've always loved her music, but I really couldn't connect with her the same way without seeing her. She prefers to have her vocal mic above, much taller than her, facing downward so she can reach up to it like a baby chick getting fed by its mother. It was both disconcerting and alluring. Her voice is flawless...even her flaws are flawless (there were a few mistakes I noticed, but I even hesitate to call them "mistakes" as such), and she exudes total technical prowess yet coolness onstage. She's very different from, say, Sara Bareilles or Ingrid Michaelson who are totally entertaining, funny and self-aware onstage...Laura is more subdued, and she reels you in by saying little. At one point she'd played about 5 songs without saying a word in between.  Anyway, I wish she'd sung my favorites, "Goodbye Old England" and the older "New Romantic," though the latter I don't blame her for not wanting to perform.  I think we songwriters are hesitant to touch on songs that are older...it's not that we don't think the songs are good, but I think something is lost in the performance when the personal connection is lost...when the story is long gone. When there's nothing more that can be done with the song. (Laura Marling, "Once I Was An Eagle")

Willy Mason opened the night, and he played an older song called "Oxygen." Funny, because he had a disclaimer for it, explaining that it was an old song but that he'd lately been wanting to sing it again (see what I mean?). Rob had put the song on a mix CD for me years ago, and I had always loved it. It was pretty great to hear it in person ("Oxygen" by Willy Mason). The song is simple and beautiful. Its approach reminds me of a song I've wrestled with for years called, "My Disaster," which I may or may not have finished.  I sang it for a songwriter friend I made in Nashville on my recent trip, and he seemed to feel it was done... so... maybe it is. 

I met some interesting folks on the plane ride to Buffalo. It's funny how many great conversations I've had in my few years of traveling here and there. One was a businessman who works with some high-profile musicians, who asked for my card. The other was a couple from Buffalo who have a nephew who is a musician/artist, and also recently graduated from NYU, my alma mater.  A few weeks ago, I met a couple who wound up coming to my show in Nashville; the wife even gave me one of her bracelets as a token. I guess what I do can be a so-called "conversation starter"... but I always think it sounds easier than it really is; seems more romantic than it really is...to be a musician, to travel, to make your own music. It'd be nice if that finely-crafted image could be carried in my heart always...I'm sure I would never be insecure, never wonder at what I am doing. But then it might also take the beauty out of everything.  

By the way, somewhat a non-sequitur, but here's a funny Vine video from some fans at Missouri Science & Technology singing "War!". These guys are way adorable.

Anyway.

Mixing signatures and structures.

I was up late last night starting a song. It was 1am and I was avoiding sleep. I'd started thinking about past relationships that were almosts-but-not-quite...thinking that a lot of the time I just didn't feel like the other person was letting me in as much as I wanted them to. That sort of unevenness seems to be an early sign of relationship problems to come. Anyway, I was messing with a rolling finger picking rhythm on the G# chord and started at the verse.  I know some people say starting with a chorus is a must for pop songs, but I wasn't sure this was going to be a pop song, and more often than not, I just want to go along with the song and see where it takes me when it gets to a "Chorus" moment.  What ended up happening was a Verse, Pre-chorus, Verse, Pre-chorus, Chorus pattern.  It's a little different, but something I've been gravitating towards the last couple of weeks.  I also gravitated towards the phrase, "from me."  I thought about the idea of repeating a phrase as a tag, but having it mean something slightly different each time... I also think the phrase "From me" sounds kind of nice at first, but in this song, is actually mellow and sad.

After some tweaking today, I wound up finishing the song. I think I'll end with the Pre-Chorus, rather than a Chorus, or a Chorus repeat. AND...this is a first for me, I think I will go into 3/4 time in the 2nd chorus.  I don't know exactly how it happened, but it felt very natural today. We will see how it sits tomorrow, if I can find time to play before my flight to Buffalo.

There is tweaking yet to be done... but here's that first bit that I wound up writing last night, along with edits from today:

From Me (Written by Alfa Garcia, BMI. (c) 2013. All Rights Reserved.)

Verse 1:

I try to speak to you / all casual and true

you speak in riddles back to me.

I wonder if it's just / the language that we have

I know you love your poetry

Pre:

But it seems I have to find 

a better man who doesn't hide

from me.

Verse 2:

You're such a wanderer / you're beautiful that way

and I would never tie you down

But your symbolic sighs / the overdrawn goodbyes

baby, they don't keep me 'round

Pre:

Lookin' for someone like you

who doesn't have to keep the truth

from me.

Chorus:

Tell me your secrets / tell me where do you go

I promise I'll keep it / I promise I'll let you go

when you want to be free.

----

In other news, I had my second rehearsal with drummer Kevin Jimenez, who will play with me at Room 5 on Nov. 22nd. I enjoy our weekly get-togethers, because it forces me to practice the older stuff, rather than get caught up solely in writing new songs.  I think songwriters are too quick to walk away from a song once it's written. I guess it's the artist's job from there...so if you're both (artist and songwriter), you carry a song with you a lot longer.  

That's it for now... will be in Buffalo playing a showcase with NACA this weekend. :)  More news when I return.

Einstein on the Beach.

I topped off the birthday weekend by watching - rather, witnessing - "Einstein on the Beach," the seminal opera work composed by Philip Glass and directed by Robert Wilson, at the LA Opera.  I'd heard about this from my boyfriend Rob, who pretty much had the avant-garde 4-act opera on repeat in his car the last few months, even though I have to admit, the sounds kinda made me dizzy and nauseated (this is coming from a girl who's played in orchestra for a good chunk of her younger years).  Nonetheless, when I saw that Einstein was coming to LA, I told Rob all about it - like a good girlfriend, right?  He went and bought the "cheap" tickets, at a whopping $77 a pop.  (cue side-discussion about the accessibility of music, whether or not art is skewed by economic demographics, not to mention the fact that Kanye and Kim Kardashian apparently attended opening night in a Lamborghini, etc etc...)

Anyway, 4 hours long with no intermission, it features a cast that does it all - singing, dancing, remembering seemingly nonsensical lyrics and delivering them at lightning speed...as well as a great bunch of musicians, including a stellar violinist, who was also Einstein, (Jennifer Koh) that must have played repetitive half-scales for 40 minutes straight at one point. The work is supposedly a statement on time, space, etc. I won't pretend I really know because my head is still wrapping itself around what I experienced today; but I will say this - I enjoyed the opera a lot more when I could hear the music along with the visuals; I am thoroughly impressed by the cast for their sheer endurance and precision; and I really appreciated the rhythmic landscape of it all - even if, yes, it was very dizzying at times.  As a musician watching all this, I took comfort in watching the pit orchestra, and pretty much made a game out of trying to figure out the ever-changing time signatures.

Here's where you can give "Einstein on the Beach" a listen: http://grooveshark.com/#!/album/Einstein+On+The+Beach/3696937

And here's some info on it from LA Opera's website. Today was the last performance, but you never know when they'll put another one together again: http://www.laopera.com/season/13-14Season-at-a-Glance/Einstein/

It's my birthday.

Yes, here's that day again. Instead of getting down about getting older, I'm resolving to focus on the love I'm getting from all my friends and family.  So, OK...no more being emo about life's ongoing progression. :)  [deep breath]
  Also, I figure the best way to get my mind off it will be to play some music, so I'll be hosting the first-ever songwriter's round over at Renaissance Hotel LAX tonight along with some musical friends.

If you aren't familiar with a songwriter's round, that's because the only place it really happens is in Nashville, which is kind of ridiculous because it's a genius idea.  Sidenote* - another genius idea Nashville has is figuring out restaurant splits for the bill before the customer actually orders. (duh!) I digress -  so the way it works is there are a number of songwriters onstage at the same time, each songwriter plays one song at a time, rotating per song until the set is done.  It's a cool way to break up the set, plus it encourages songwriters to communicate with each other. Or at least, that's what happens during good rounds.  Personally, I think it's kind of awkward when songwriters sit up there and don't say anything to each other.  

So yes, if you're in LA and you don't have anything to do tonight, you should come check it out. No cover. Tip jar only. I'll be hosting. There will be happy hour food and drinks... oh and yes, you can buy me a birthday cocktail.  

The fast ones // "Man On the Radio" (working song + audio)

I love when a song comes to me super fast.  It's like the songwriting-gods above have showered me with undeserved inspiration and I'm just sitting there with my hands open going, "yes, yes, give them to me."  Those moments are definitely rare, and it's best to take advantage of them when they come (usually that means dropping what I'm doing, grabbing a paper and pen and sitting there as long as it takes).  I always feel a little skeptical afterwards, though. I try to go over what I wrote and make sure I'm not just feeling too attached to it for some reason or another; I try to take a few steps back...  Still, is there anything more satisfying?

Here's one I wrote on my uke in about 15 minutes last week, the day after I got back from Nashville. Ironically, I had gone there to write new songs, and didn't finish a single one (unless you count the one I had started with my cowriter Marc last year and finally finished during the trip). I guess that's how it goes. What the gods give, they taketh away... ;)  Anyway, this one's about falling in love with a voice that you hear on the radio and being content with drawing up the whole love story in your head...without actually needing to meet the dude. Tell me I'm not the only one this happens to...

"Man on the Radio" 

written by Alfa Garcia (BMI) 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Oh boy, you don't know me but I think I know you

'cause there's something about the way you sing to me.

Like you've read into parts of me no one sees

and I can't help but fall for your understanding.

Oooooh, oooooh

Oooooh, oooooh. (repeat)

There is no need for a formal face-to-face

to be honest, I'm fine learning you line-by-line in my room.

'Cause in my head there is no one for me but you

I have got you pegged as a man with a plan, who's a good list'ner too

(yes, that's you)

Oooooh, oooooh

Oooooh, oooooh. (repeat)

I swear you're singing right to me

like I'm never out of reach.

Well, you must have found a back door to my heart

'cause it feels like you've been there from the start

and I know you don't know me, but I think that I love you

I think I love...love you. (repeats on this line?)

Man on the radio

Man on the radio

Man on the radio

Man on the radio... 

------------------------------------------

I had the chance to play this at FilAmFest in San Diego this weekend. It was my last song, and I think the reaction was pretty cool. Admittedly, though, this songs relies on the melody and delivery. I think there's a lot of room to make it one of those fun, short stints (it clocks in at just about 3 minutes) that elicits a quick reaction, rather than long-lasting thought.  I am not opposed to these kinds of songs... I think there's room for them.  But also, this one's just freakin' fun to sing.  :)  

"Man on the Radio" (iPhone rough demo)  

Anyway, here's a rough track I did on my iPhone. In this version, I had switched the 2 parts of verse 2, but I think I'm going to go with the version in the lyrics above. Also, I pulled a little Bob Dylan towards the end... ha. I crack myself up.

A re-introduction.

  So, here we go.  I've had this blog for a little while now, but found that I wasn't really writing as regularly as I wanted to. There were a few reasons for this.  First - most common - I just didn't have enough time. Second: I'd find myself running into certain details of my life that I didn't feel like divulging on the Internet (I know, kinda shocking for a songwriter to want to withhold personal details, right?)  As a result, I'd just keep my ramblings to the old trusty journal.

Well, a week ago I was in Nashville sitting on the porch on a beautiful Fall day, thinking about where this whole singing/songwriting adventure has taken me in the last decade, and realizing, with some regret, how easily I've overlooked the details of such awesomeness.  For example, all the traveling I've gotten to do for the sake of music; all the "ah-ha" moments when a song comes together after hours of struggle; the fantastic co-writes (and not-so-fantastic ones too, those are learning experiences...), the friends I've made along the way; and the little discoveries that have slowly but surely made my life and my work more special to me (and hopefully to others).

It seemed, then, a given that I should get back to blogging.  And not just any blogging, but one that would have a focus.  So I thought ... the one thing that's a constant in my life - regardless of who's around me, what I'm doing to make ends meet, what struggles I'm dealing with - is music and songwriting.  So, in order to avoid all the uber-personal details, why not keep the blog on this focus?

Right, so this won't be the easiest thing. I know it still needs some development, but I'm willing to dive headlong into it without necessarily knowing what I'm doing (kinda like the first time I taught myself to swim...) ... and hopefully you guys will be along for the ride. :)  ... stay tuned. Plenty to come.

Ramblings.

When I feel too lazy to write, I force myself to write. This is probably one of my self-projects I'll be trying to work on all summer. I haven't had much time to reflect on life this year, and there's much to be evaluated. Don't mind if I ramble a bit here...

For the first time, I've had a few chances to truly network outside of my somewhat sizeable circle of mutual friends, and third-degree friends. This week I went to a workshop on music placements along with 2 reputable music supervisors. They evaluated my song and the reaction was overwhelmingly positive for "Blue." It gave me a bit of hope that there can be a future for my album, even now that touring is over, press is done, and it's been a few months. Of course there's still a music video for "War!" that I want to do, the release of the "Cup of Coffee" MV, band gigs, and playing in the Philippines later this summer (knock on wood!). But I really want this album to take it up a notch as far as licensing... so I'm also making that a focus for the summer.

Besides my teaching this week, I filmed a music video for Kollaboration and participated in one of my friend's music videos at a warehouse in Central LA. It's going to come out great, according to the director (who also did my "Blue" video), so I look forward to the product.  Today, I spent some time getting comfortable with playing Alt-J's "Breezeblocks," which I plan on doing a video for. I really enjoy that song and today was the first time I really got a feel for it.  I also did a rough idea of a melody for a collaboration with Dan AKA Dan. Felt pretty productive.

This weekend will be about spending time with Rob's dad, who's visiting from New York. It's good to have a little piece of home here.  It'll also be good to have some downtime, although I have to admit, I'm trying to keep the productivity rolling... I have to go back to New Jersey in a week and a half, and then take a weekend trip to SF after that, so that will slow down progress a little bit. In the meantime, I'm debating whether or not I can swing a week-long trip to Nashville to get some writing and recording done with Marc.  We'll see...

Awake. After many days of slumber.

Yikes. Has it really been almost a year and a half since I last wrote on this thing?  That's a big fail on my part, so...sorry.  I can say I've had a good explanation, but that won't be a good enough explanation for me, and since this is a blog, I'm probably the only one who's really affected by the fact that I haven't written soooo [big breath]... yeah, I'm back!

2012 was a crazy year, and not always in the good ways. No longer a total LA newbie, I got a real sense of LA's many pitfalls - getting sucked up in "people", in being "somebody," in comparing myself and cheapening the many gifts that come with being a musician/songwriter, in vanity, in heartbreaks and being the heartbreaker.  But at the same time, it was a year of real growth. I did my Kickstarter for my album and it was a great way to rally my morale after a painful first half of the year. I realized how many people from all over are still rooting for me and my music. That isn't really a testament to how great of a person I am (cuz I'm not), but more to the redeeming belief people have in you when you're trying for something real, something genuine. I guess that's what I have to remember next time I lose touch with who I am and what I'm trying to do.

I spent Fall completing my album, and it was a much shorter process than Second Skin had been. It was also more rewarding - I got to work with some fantastic musicians in Nashville, as well as my favorite producer Marc Lacuesta (I don't throw "favorite" around lightly), and some great folks here in LA as well.  Finally, all the directionless tantrums of the last few years had culminated in one goal-oriented effort, and the album came out at the end of January this year.

2013 has been extremely busy, up until the end of April. As you can see, it's been about a month of "normalcy" now, and I've reacted to it with the hurried panic of a swarm of bees. I guess I'm no good at routine; have forgotten now how I dealt with directionlessness. Not that I'm directionless - I would venture to say that isn't the right word. But I'm trying to figure out where to put my focus on next, there are too many things at the moment. I'm trying to embrace the question.

After the album came out, I had shows from Feb-April, so I was never home longer than 3 weeks. Being on the road provided a liberation I easily loved when it was lived, but made the days at home a little hard. I was grateful to be able to do it, though. Most of the shows came from 2 showcases in the Fall, and I was humbled to have been given the opportunity. Meeting with students from all different parts of the country was really eye-opening and invigorating. They made me feel young. I mean, I am young, but you know...
We got publishing for 'World Go Blue' and also shot the video for "Blue" (below). Then we did a radio and press campaign, that helped get the album on CMJ's charts. I was also finally able to beef up the "press" section of my press kit. Now that summer's here, I am hoping to finally get my bearings on doing more regular videos. It's not my strongsuit, but I'm challenging myself.