God writes happy endings.
woke up today in the darkness
a ghost sat in my room
told it all of my secrets
how bad I've been missing you
but when I'm awake, I just want to sleep
to fill an empty space
where do I go now? I wonder
fixed to the anchors of fate.
but God writes happy endings
...and me and you will have our happy ending too.
when I'm asleep you're a traveler
you're packed and ready to go
fading away in the distance
to places I'll never know
weary, the world spins on and on
I don't know how it ends
do you come back? did you love me at all?
did half your heart pretend?
God writes happy endings
...and me and you will have our happy ending
somewhere, in a future somewhere
that I'm not supposed to know...
God writes happy endings
God writes happy endings
God writes happy endings
and me and you will have our happy ending
me and you will have some happy end
me and you will have our happy ending too.
______
This song is near and dear to me because I started writing it 8 years ago, during my last painful breakup. Writing about a breakup is daunting sometimes, mostly because it's a realm that has been explored time and time again. The challenge becomes the search for different lenses and angles through which to view the situation. Now, my first attempt at writing this song wasn't entirely a failure - I did "finish" it, in the sense that I'd played it at a gig once - but deep inside I knew it wasn't there yet. In hindsight, I realize it was because I had written it too soon after the pain. Some topics are just plain hard to navigate in their fresh state. What I did get out of that first attempt, though, was a chorus that stuck with me through several years, until earlier this summer when I sat in my backyard hammock and leafed through an old journal to dig up old songs. The melody was old-school; kind of lullaby-ish, a tinge jazz standard-y. I loved the repetition of the phrase; it was so much like a mantra.
This song also stood out because all I could remember was the chorus, and I couldn't for the life of me recall any verse. I took that as a challenge, and re-built the song around this bare skeleton. The hardest part to this process was trying to get myself back in that post-breakup mental state. One thing stuck with me from that time, and it was the ripping realization that someone whose life had been intertwined deeply with my own was most certainly going to go onward through life's experiences without me there to be part of it. I wouldn't know their life's journey, and my own future would not include them either. For someone like me who (full disclaimer) has dealt with some abandonment issues, this was a very real, very bewildering revelation. It stunned me at the time, and I can still remember how painfully empty I felt; how hard it was to feel self-sufficient and normal again.
One thing kept me somewhat optimistic, and it was the knowledge that everything wasn't in my hands. That mantra, "God writes happy endings," is written like the self-assuring words we tell ourselves in hard times to help keep our heads up. It's also about getting the courage to surrender to the wills of fate - looking forward to a "happy ending," whether it means you'll end up back together or not at all. It's about accepting a happy ending in whatever form it may come in; knowing there's someone out there that knows our fate better than us, and being OK with that.
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This song is near and dear to me because I started writing it 8 years ago, during my last painful breakup. Writing about a breakup is daunting sometimes, mostly because it's a realm that has been explored time and time again. The challenge becomes the search for different lenses and angles through which to view the situation. Now, my first attempt at writing this song wasn't entirely a failure - I did "finish" it, in the sense that I'd played it at a gig once - but deep inside I knew it wasn't there yet. In hindsight, I realize it was because I had written it too soon after the pain. Some topics are just plain hard to navigate in their fresh state. What I did get out of that first attempt, though, was a chorus that stuck with me through several years, until earlier this summer when I sat in my backyard hammock and leafed through an old journal to dig up old songs. The melody was old-school; kind of lullaby-ish, a tinge jazz standard-y. I loved the repetition of the phrase; it was so much like a mantra.
This song also stood out because all I could remember was the chorus, and I couldn't for the life of me recall any verse. I took that as a challenge, and re-built the song around this bare skeleton. The hardest part to this process was trying to get myself back in that post-breakup mental state. One thing stuck with me from that time, and it was the ripping realization that someone whose life had been intertwined deeply with my own was most certainly going to go onward through life's experiences without me there to be part of it. I wouldn't know their life's journey, and my own future would not include them either. For someone like me who (full disclaimer) has dealt with some abandonment issues, this was a very real, very bewildering revelation. It stunned me at the time, and I can still remember how painfully empty I felt; how hard it was to feel self-sufficient and normal again.
One thing kept me somewhat optimistic, and it was the knowledge that everything wasn't in my hands. That mantra, "God writes happy endings," is written like the self-assuring words we tell ourselves in hard times to help keep our heads up. It's also about getting the courage to surrender to the wills of fate - looking forward to a "happy ending," whether it means you'll end up back together or not at all. It's about accepting a happy ending in whatever form it may come in; knowing there's someone out there that knows our fate better than us, and being OK with that.
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Great job writing a song that captures well the rawness of the post-breakup experience. It is especially more meaningful that it includes the element of hope, starting off weak at first but strengthens with each repetition. Love it! <3
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