From the road.

It isn't always easy being on tour. In fact, it's probably the least easy thing.  There's a heck of a lot of traveling, a lot of catching up with schedules, a lot of coordinating, a lot of meeting strangers, and then there's that snippet of time when you get to do that thing that you love to do, for about an hour or so, when it becomes wonderful.  But once in a while, there are shows that don't turn out wonderful (not so on this tour so far, I'm happy to report). I find myself surprised sometimes that I can still do this, even when it's not easy, when I'm running on a few hours of sleep and lots of caffeine; I'm missing "real" food and people I know. Last night I played a show here in Syracuse, and I had had a really long drive from Boston. I'm not sure how I had the ability to smile, chat, and socialize with the Le Moyne students after the late-night show (they were super funny and relaxed, which helped).


I thought about that this morning, and since it's Sunday and I'm craving my spiritual pick-me-up since I couldn't make it to my family church in Queens, I read some devotionals and came upon this verse, one I've read before but rings fairly true now:

12 Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal;g but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Beloved,h I do not consider that I have made it my own;i but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead... (Philippians 3)

Thinking about this verse, I get very overwhelmed by grace that allows me to continue what I do, even if it's not easy. Somehow, there's a love for music that was placed in my heart, and I feel close to it, even if it's full of struggles - on tour and off tour - and it's a big part of who I am. So, I guess the question I wrestle with is what the main purpose of this is. Sure, it's therapeutic, it's fun to sing about things I write, but how can my music effect bigger change? Is that even what it's meant for? Off I go to live that question...